People of shyness are generally thrown in to anxiety and there is no doubt about it. So why there is anxiety? because shyness arises because of ego, on the one end ego is stopping you to take a new venture and on the other end your inner urge wants to take on that venture and this battle between the two inside a person causes anxiety and a person of shyness is stuck he finds it difficult and also he is confused.
We seen why there is anxiety, your ego don’t want to give up its idea about you, you think your image on what people think of you will change and the change can be bad or good who knows? so ego says just don’t go for it and ignore it but on the other end there is a deep inner urge to take on the venture or situation. So how to go about this?
Just remember one thing that don’t give space for your ego, there is always anxiety in people because they listen to their ego more than their inner self, just let this idea sink deeper in to your being that ego always leads to misery and problems and your true self always takes you happiness, listen to your inner self, listen to your heart and don’t listen to your mind, mind never comes to any conclusions, mind always loiters from this end to that end and mind never comes to any conclusion, if you want to come to a conclusion only way is to listen to your heart, listen to your inner true self.
You know there is an deep urge to overcome your shyness and express yourself to others and prove yourself, so instead of listening to your ego, listen to your urge, pay more attention to your urge and when you pay more attention to your urge, your urge to express yourself then it becomes more active, more you focus on your urge more strength it gains and there will be a point your ego breaks and you will start to express yourself and immediately at the same instant you can feel a deep contentment, deep happiness that you have made it happen and you have expressed yourself, suddenly there is a feeling that you have made your dream come true and you can feel you have grown and in fact there is a definite growth in you when you make it happen, you know you have found the key and you can use the same key for the future situations.
I remember an incident in my own life, One of my best friend who is also a sannyasin happened to visit my place and he is very old than me, I am just a final year student at my college at that time and he invited me to his place and we both are really good friends.
People have a wrong image about sannyasins or any saints, they think these people are boring as hell but the fact is just the opposite, they are the most happening people you could ever see, they are the ones who really enjoy their lives, I happened to visit him and we had a chat for a while and he suddenly turned on his music system and asked me dance, I felt strange and in fact I was shy but the music was really good that deep down I wanted to dance but he never cared about me, he just started to dance and he is nearly 60 year old and he never cared about me nor felt shy that I am seeing him dancing, he just started to dance for the music and he is immensely enjoying it, I can clearly see that in him, he asked me to join him but I was shy, I felt what he will think of me, in fact the truth is he will enjoy it if I dance with him but my ego stopped me there with its logical calculations.
He called me couple of times but I was just watching him dance suppressing my feeling to go ahead and dance, then I made a point ok I am not going to hold on to this weird feeling anymore and I focused on my urge to dance rather than listening to my mind or ego, then I can able to come to a point where I shattered my ego and started to dance with him and we had a wonderful evening that day, we danced danced and danced for nearly three hours and finally we became exhausted.
The point I want to make here is, your ego stops you from your possible happiness in the name of shyness, just don’t care about what others will think of you, will they think anything bad about me or will they think of me in a good sense? just don’t loiter over these questions, others are not important but instead you are more important, focus on yourself and enjoy yourself. Focus on your happiness not on your ego, your ego wont keep you happy, drop the ego then there is happiness its as simple as that, when you drop ego there is happiness.
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