It may probably sound strange if I tell you that everybody is carrying their own dictionary, normally we tend to think that each word has only one meaning which you find in normal typical printed dictionary which we use to look for synonyms and develop our vocabulary. But what I am about to talk today has nothing to do with the printed dictionary, what I am going to talk about today is our inner dictionary which we are carry around also making use of unconsciously.
One of the biggest problems in relationships in misunderstanding, if you genuinely ask a person who is in a relationship on the problems in his relationship, most probably his first complain will be that the other person doesn’t understand him. Same is the case with almost every relationship. Husband thinks that his wife is not understanding him and wife thinks that her husband doesn’t understand her and this goes on.
So what is that is the real problem? why there is so much misunderstanding between people? I seriously think its because of the dictionary we are carrying around unconsciously, your dictionary interprets different meanings for situations and different meanings for what the other person tells you and same goes with the other person too.
you say something that you may feel is really suited for the present situation to your partner and your partner takes your words in a different sense, that sense comes from his dictionary.
We normally think that when we talk to someone then that person is listening to you but that is not the exact truth the other person never listens to you completely. On the outside he listens but on the inside his dictionary keeps interpreting meanings for the words you talk, for the sentences you use, amount of stress you give for certain words everything is being interpreted in accordance with the meanings his dictionary carries.
Now this is a serious problem in almost everybody, we never listen to what the other person really have to say, instead we understand what the other person has to say according to the meanings which our inner dictionary carries.
This problem arises because we don’t give importance to the feelings of the other person instead we give more weightage on the words the other person uses which in the first place is the root of our misunderstanding. Just the other day one of my friend came to me and he was pretty stressed and I asked him for the reason, he told he that he is stressed because “my girlfriend told me that she likes another friend of mine about two months ago while we are at a restaurant and now I don’t know whether she loves me or not”.
Now we think that he is really stupid to be keep wondering about a single sentence that his girlfriend told him about two months back but to tell the truth its not the case only with that boy, its the case with almost 50 to 80% of people who are in relationship. You partner would have told you something casually and you keep wondering about it, what did he really meant when he told me that? what she is really up to when she told that?. Really his girlfriend might have just said that casually without any seriousness behind it just like that but his dictionary is interpreting him those words with a different meaning and that creates a problem.
If you really want your relationships to be successful and pleasant then just don’t give too much importance to what other person has to say to you verbally and don’t give too much importance to words but instead give importance to what other person feels, get more deep with your partner and listen to his feelings over words and that will make a huge difference.
Have a great day.
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